What is paraphrasing?

Paraphrasing expresses interest and focus on the person and his/her problem. By activity seeking clarity, you achieve a shared meaning, avoid misunderstanding and gain the trust of the person you are speaking with. Paraphrasing is repeating in your own words to clarify and make sure you and the person in crisis have a shared understanding.

Repeating the intent or content of what the person has stated is very helpful in making sure that the responder understands the meaning of the words the person is using. For example:

A woman walks into her house after being at work all day.
“Boy, what a rough one!” she says.
Her daughter asks, “You had a bad day?”
The woman responds by saying, “No, not the whole day, just the drive home, the traffic was horrible!”

In this example, the daughter stated what she thought her mother means and the mother clarified. The daughter, however, does not use the same words to “paraphrase” her mothers’ statement. Responders must be very careful about parroting phrases that the person in crisis uses. Unless done thoughtfully, this can come across as not hearing or mimicking the person.

In order to ensure a shared understanding of the situation, the responder may want to summarize the information to be sure that he or she has understood correctly and has the whole picture.