What is reflecting?

Reflecting give the person an idea of what you are interpreting from their presentation. It can help him/her identify what he or she is feeling and projecting. Your tone of voice and the fact that you are pointing out what you are hearing or sensing helps make sense of the confusion and adds to your rapport.

As an objective or disinterested party, you are in an ideal spot to provide this sort of feedback. Feedback is a way you can communicate your thoughts and reactions to another. Generally, you can use a specific form to present your feedback.

• Identify what you are thinking and/or feeling.
• Identify the behavior you think provoked your response.
• Indicate how this might impact the caller.

For example: “It concerns me when you talk about committing suicide, even though you’ve said that you are not serious. It may scare other enough that they don’t want to talk to you.”

The person has a lot to gain by hearing honest, direct feedback. People who are too closely related to the problem may hesitate for fear of hurting someone or a reprisal. Unfortunately, if the person is not aware of how his or her behavior effects others, he or she can’t change.